Package Deal

I have this ongoing question about 'what if'. What if the one destined to be at my side reads this blog on a daily basis? There are a lot of things which I don't know and choose not to know. Questions need answers but not always.

Only so many subjects need answers. For a while now I've been asked this one question. It means that someone that has a special place in both my heart and soul knows who I am. This individual knows my strengths, weaknesses and the real me. Honestly, the two things I need and want to know is if she loves me and promise to always will for the rest of her life.

Most things in my life just seem irrelevant since they don't serve a purpose towards any of my own goals. Right now, the only thing I know to do is forgive and start over. Yes, I want to be loved, share love and love those who love me for being me. For those who push away those who love someone out of fear, should learn to overcome fearing the uncertainty.

When I dream about the outcome of something I want to know, there's fear with the knowledge that it nothing comes true. However when I don't dream about the outcome for a certain scenario, I don't know about what comes next. The only thing I know is whatever comes next is supposedly hope. I am in way a soothsayer, knowing what is not set in stone.

For the record, I am truly a God fearing man and hence nearly attend Sunday mass as often as I can. Even though I'm misunderstood by people, I really try not to be around people I care about. The reason why I may seem as quiet, I have a lot on my mind and tend to reflect often. I choose to be civil instead of nice around certain people only because it's easier than to show any sincere feelings.

Yet I still believe there's some good in people. I hope I am still considered one of the good guys to other people. My heart is still full of empathy for the people around me. Anyone who loves the entire package with all of my flaws I will love them back.