Me The Perfect Boyfriend?!

I just had the most interesting "aha moment" that's very profound. The fact is I have finite amount of knowledge about relationships. After several years of hearing stories about break-ups, what went wrong and so forth, I've amassed enough knowledge what makes a relationship work than most relationship experts learn in their own lifetime. Humbling as this may be I still hate the irony.


Truth be told I'm not egotistical in nature or at least I try not to be. Most of the time I just write about whatever comes to mind while being honest about it. Upon theory, I suppose I am the 'perfect' boyfriend in terms of knowing what to say and understanding of what's needed in a relationship. Yet at the same time I'm also a diamond with many flaws just waiting to be polished.

The Ideal Relationship

This is officially the few times I'm going to ever mention what I'm looking for in life. Soon I'll be planning to hunt for a relationship sometime in May. Even though I have nearly finite information about relationships in general, I've been reluctant to be in one for the longest time. Without a doubt in my mind I know the type I want to be in - the one who loves me for being me minus the heartache baggage from the previous one.

Dear reader of this blog, I'll be openly blunt with what I'm looking for in a relationship - someone that's ready to settle down into married life. I'm at the point in my life this is what I want and nothing else matters. Only three things in my life are important: love, family and career (in that order). Things like dating for over a year make me think she's reluctant for a serious commitment.

It may sound like I want to hush into married life with someone significant but once I know I want to be with someone for the rest of my life, I don't want to let go. Truthfully, 'yes' I'm scared to be in a relationship at a slow pace. However my belief is if the relationship is longer than the time being engaged I tend to question why. The only true thing I know is I want to be in a relationship that lasts beyond forever.

Finding Me

There are so many things which fascinate me as person and shaped me into the person that I am now. When I was a kid I liked Transformers because it was different and really made me use my imagination. Something about giant robots from another planet was the most original idea created by a toy company.

Out of all the people that influenced me was my best friend Johnathan when he introduced me into the world of science fiction. It started out with stuff like 'Quantum Leap', 'Star Trek' and 'The X-Files'. The one show that interests me the most was 'The Twilight Zone', yet to this day makes me think.

Eventually I was fully hooked on cinema and television. I don't know how that happened but I blame Quentin Tarantino and his love making movies. Being a filmmaker allowed me to be creative in ways I never thought possible. My first script was largely influenced by J.J. Abrams and his show "Alias". People like Bryan Fuller, J.J. Abrams and Judd Apatow gave me a reason to think outside the box.

Somewhere in the mix of things I also became a fan of several other things which include comic books, Anime and I've been a gamer since the introduction of the Atari 2600. The last statement might give hint of how old I am but I don't care. Bottom line is that I was born to be a geek, it's who I am and I suppose always will be. One thing I've learned is that more I change as person, the more things still stay the same in terms of what I like.

Possessive Hearts Are Toxic Ones

For those who read this blog from time to time should know upon occasion I will write some relationship advice. Recently I've been thinking about this one relationship that REALLY made me think. Another lifetime ago, I used to be friends with girl who used to date men I'd swear never met before but got jealous of whenever I was mentioned. Why?

I'm the nice and harmless guy, nothing more. Guys who are jealous of me are in fact possessive. Truthfully and honestly nice guys like myself don't have an agenda to steal anyone's girlfriend. Paranoia and thoughts of fear stir up in their head that they can't and/or don't know how to keep the girl in relationship if there's another guy being mentioned.

Sadly, it's also sign of a possessiveness and a very toxic relationship that some people don't notice right away. The person in your relationship isn't a 'trophy' but instead a human being and should be treated as one. My advice? Get out of a relationship the second he/she claims that you belong to them.

You are not anyone's property but your own. For the love of God, I don't know why most girls are blinded and/or tolerate this type of behavior. Guys shouldn't treat girls as if they're pimps and vice versa. A real man treats a lover with respect and constantly reminds them of how much their love means to them in their relationship.

There are ways to disarm 'the other guy' that she mentions without feeling jealous. You are just being reminded that you need to make that significant other feel special. A damn fool takes a relationship for granted. Remember there's a lot of other guys sitting in the sidelines waiting for their turn.

But not me. I'm the one that's going to prove it when my time comes to be in a relationship. Over the years I've taken so many 'mental notes', to the point I'd like to think I have become somewhat of an expert on the subject. I may not know much on a lot of stuff but I do know next person I date will most likely be my lover for life. Nonetheless I hope all of my female friends hope that they will find happiness with someone that loves them back.

If Only Broadcast Journalism Was Like This

Happy Birhtday To Me Soonish

A month from now I'll be one year older than I was last year. After several moments of self-reflection it makes me think "Where do I go from here?", even though I know the answer. Why? I can never know what 'curve ball' The Fates may come out of left field.

Looking back, there's a list of events that put a huge chip on my shoulder. After a while I've learned how insignificant the bad times in my life really are. So I've been given a few bumps in the road of life. Conflict of any sort actually makes life interesting.

Still... I would like to wake up one day into a dream life. For once in my life I'd to stop being misunderstood by those who matter in my life, a friend that will follow my example of true friendship and most importantly enjoy company of others. But what I've learned (and still stands true by many other advisers) life is what you make of it. Create your own destiny and master it.

Local Winnipeg Filipino Not Smarter Than You

This is going to be the few times I'm going to reveal a bit about myself. One of the pet peeves is that people (including my family members) tend to underestimate me and quick to judge without thinking. Fellow reader, I'm going to give you a life lesson that I sincerely hope that you will learn. Just because someone might seem like a slow learner might mean he/she has selective attention.

Without going into the psychological details, it means I choose to learn something that interests me as a person. I am always thinking and lucky enough to have a functioning brain since I've been hit in the head several times. If I weren't involved in several blows to the head I would be a genius of some sort but I'm not. Nonetheless I am capable to retain some new knowledge without the aid of stimulated drugs.

Before I continue, I must assure you that I'm not ranting. Instead I am trying to rationalize an understanding both my quirks and faults with complete honesty. One of the few things that I've learned over the years is that many people judge other from their actions and make a perceptive conclusion. Linear thinking isn't always the best way to make an assessment of one's being.

The truth about me is that I learn, adapt and become whatever I choose to be. After learning of what I become I also evolve as a person, sort of like advanced artificial intelligence. More I learn, the more I comprehend and understand about the world around me.
Essentially, I've learned to be complex yet have a simple outlook on life.

People who get to really know me, learn that I'm quite an interesting surprise with several layers of fascinating interest. Deep inside all of this complex unique individual is a human being that's misunderstood on several levels it upsets me. It also makes me think that I have no equal.

Just the thought has me to presume humanity has yet to evolve further as a species. Set aside the fact I can be arrogant, there's still an ounce of truth in this statement. At the same time I've also humbly proven that I am no better at perceiving the world around me than the person reading this and that the title of this blog is very much appropriately truthful. Without a doubt we are all still human beings trying to better ourselves and evolve past the perception of individuals without knowing the person as a whole.

We as a species owe it to ourselves to evolve beyond to a greater plane of comprehensive understanding of the world around us. Maybe someday we will. The last thing to come out of Pandora's box was 'hope'. As a person that's learning to be a good mentor to children, to look for hope is something to believe goodness comes from within the heart, at least it's a start to something good in this world.

Revealing Thought

As of right now I just had a revelation, something about love. Sadly this information is far from being 'new' to me. Some of the oddest things happen to me, after a while I get used to it. Why these happen I'll never know. Belief that a girl will come to me to profess her undying love makes me think the word 'stalker', among other thoughts of creepy things not romantic.

The only thing I know I want is being loved and faithful to whomsoever I love. Everything else doesn't mean much to me at this point of my life. My daily life consists of studying, eating, the occasional Twitter and sleeping. Maybe someday I will wake up and find happiness with a significant other, 2.5 children and living suburbia.

Until then I hope for something good will come into my life and remember what it's like to share happiness with someone.

The Importnace of The Newspaper

We live in a digital age. This begs the question of why we need to support print newspaper. Reason? It took me a while to answer this inquiry.

As a western society it's our nature to follow trends including the electronic and online ones. Fact of the matter is that people like myself sometimes forget the importance of daily print news. It serves a purpose as a link to the non-electronic world. Take away every known electronic device that everyone relied upon over the last twenty odd years and you forget how to manage.

Living in an electronic age has it's flaws and far from perfect. For as long as we confine ourselves to these convince devices, we are the slaves that rely on the service which it provides. Online news comes from various networks of information. But local news informs the communities around the city. This is how a community area stays informed with the changing world around them, outside the online world.

Not everyone in the world is part of the digital age or the ongoing trends. Everything in the online community is different than the little part of the world around us. Although the source of information is changing, the purpose for being informed stays the same no matter the format. Print media shouldn't be a forgotten medium but embraced with the changing times.

Aptitude Of What

This is going to be one the few times I am going to post one of my best kept secrets. Back in my post-high school years I was asked to take an aptitude test. One of the few things I knew was the fact I could give 'fake' answers, proving that I belong in a certain field. Aptitude tests are for thing only, tell you where you belong in which career field.

Only known flaw it does not give you precise ideal career path, just the industry best suited for you. Lord knows I wanted to be part of the film industry/broadcasting, using my creativity to it's fullest potential. Good parents urge a child to follow their dreams. Mine wanted to suppress it and wanted me to be as realistic as possible.

Same people that gave birth to me 'shoved' me into job placement centers that would satisfy the fact their first born is a working man. I still loathe and disgust them for doing that. But I am willing to be a better man by loving them for bringing me into this world. Nearly ten long years have past since this 'karma prison' was built.

"Be careful for what you wish for, you just might get it." Today I can laugh about what I've been through. It has taken me a long time to find my 'other career' path. Someday I hope to thank the people who inspired me to pursue it.

Yes I still want to pursue a career as a film maker. But I also have a great deal of passion for children with hopes of someday being a mentor and a father. These are facts that I cannot deny. Love for two professions at my age felt like being two different people. Here stands one that does it for hope for a better future, flip the coin a man wants the same goal.

Solution? I am going to create films by using the money I earn with my full time career. Documentaries that I create are going to help inspire children. A percentage of the money that I earn from the box office sales will fund the launch of my own charity organization.

For as long I shall live I will always despise aptitude tests. No test can truly claim the type of person that you can be when you decide to grow up. It will only tell you what you should be. This is what awoken the rebel inside me and fight the battle to conform into society. I never liked being forced to choose my own path, I wanted to forge my own.

Lazy Wednesday?

I never thought it would be possible but I just feel so laid back.  Normally Wednesdays are one huge hump of problems.  Stop and imagine a week that doesn't have any major conflicts, except for the financial ones.  On the one hand, it's something that no one should ever complain about. Without chaos there's nothing but everything done in an orderly routine manner.

This may not seem like a bad thing yet it upsets the balance of things, whatever that might be. Maybe I've earned this blessing and I should accept this as one.  Perhaps I don't see boredom as much of a personal ongoing struggle.  Someday I hope to learn to be happy living in the now.    

Just Human

      As an aspiring humanitarian I just want to help so much.  Yet I have to remind myself that I'm not Superman and shouldn't make any attempts for being like one.   Sometimes I forget that when I decided to be more involved with the local community.  Long story, short I was asked to join the Knights of Columbus a year before I started volunteering for The Boys And Girls Club of Winnipeg and now I'm thinking how I'll be able to juggle both of them.

    I give because I care and I love to give.  Within my heart I have an infinite amount of love to share and give on this place we call 'Earth'.  Maybe I should just give myself a hug and remember to enjoy the moments in life.  

Cheat This

Recently, I've stumbled upon the show "Cheaters". It's a syndicated reality series about investigating possible cheaters. My personal opinion for this show is toxic for the mind. Whilst I condone myself for watching it and judging the reactions, I'd like to make the assumption that events could have been preventable.

Just for the record, IF cheating were to occur in my relationship the initial reaction would be thoughts of vengeance. However I wouldn't act upon these actions since it wouldn't be the gentleman's approach. Eventually there would be communication and an understanding that I'd forgive but not forget.

All in all, the only thing that matters is knowing she is happy with who make her happy. For her to accept me back into my life would mean requesting sincere change and more open communication. Without a doubt in my mind, I believe in second chances, honor and respect. On a technical note, I have yet to have anyone back in a relationship. There's a story too embarrassing for sharing on my behalf, yet I wish her well.

One of the things that I've learned is that a good relationship has to have a strong foundation of both communication and understanding. Always listen and understand the needs between you and your lover. The last thing anyone should do is take your relationship for granted. Reasons why people cheat is because there's purposing lacking respect for the other person.

Why I know all of this is largely because I've heard a lot of heartache. IF and when I am in a relationship, one of the things I promise is to always listen and understand of what's needed to make my relationship something worth while filled with love and respect. Every day should feel special, warm and moving.

I could post finite information about relationships without being in one. Lord knows I try not to and yet I do it only because I care. For anyone that reads this should know having finite knowledge about this subject means I am and can be the few souls that's willing to share an infinte amount of love with another person. For now I hope someday love will come my way, even if I must wait forever.

Those Other Metacritcs

Sometimes I wonder about the user comments on Metacritc. The ones I'm talking about those who purposely give bad reviews online while the majority are giving praise.  Are they being honest or do they just hate things in general? Sometimes I wonder.

Yes, everyone is truly entitled to their own opinion but I have yet to read anything remotely honestly articulate from those who post these bad reviews. Alas there are very few things in life I no longer question these mysteries in cyberspace.  To articulate your thoughts is to care about in what you believe in.  Hate is a four letter word.

A good writer speaks from the heart and great writers show it with passion. For those who review with anger, most of the time blind themselves with rage and lack focus of what's important.  My advice to future writers: Always listen to your heart and be true to yourself. Be sure to also apply this to your daily life and you will find happiness.         

My Late Night Post

For some odd reason I can't sleep.  Instead I thought about posting whatever came to mind: 

• Old articles from 'Wired' magazine have some (very few) valid points.

• I like posting relationship advice even though I am not in one (just yet wink, wink)

• 99.9% of me still thinks I was born to be a New Yorker but a Canuck  at heart.

• ANYTHING that glows in the dark is highly considered a novelty item until a blackout occurs.

• Some posts are subjects I want to get off my chest.

• I will rarely post a link to my blog on Twitter like this one.

• Seriously questioning the cut and paste bugs when I write my blogs.

Last but not least I never mention anyone's name unless he/she had a good track record of keeping a special place in my heart because I respect other people's privacy including my family. If I do it means I wish I could spend the rest of my days with them, even then it's still considered a rare privilege. 

'Nuff Said. 

(Don't Read This)

This is the only few times I'm going to mention anyone's full name in a blog post.  For the record I've personally extinguished nearly all of the torches I held for girls that I could have dated in my past except one, Catherine Altham.  She was the first on my list and only one I ran away from. Until I know there's someone that loves me for me with all of my faults and who I am, I will still have feelings for her.

Yes, I'm ready to let go of the love and the life I could have shared with her.  But to forget what she still means to me is another thing.  Whenever I eat a 'Sweet Marie' chocolate bar nowadays it just simply translates for me as I'm still looking for that one to live "happily ever after".  The last time I ate one I still thought about her one last time of the romance I could have shared.

Honestly, I'd be willing to admit she raised the bar quite high in terms of everything I could ever hoped for.  Although this information would break the heart of someone that loves me but truth be told I have yet to experience 'the whole package' of a loving relationship.  I want to know what it's like to wake up to real love every day for the rest of my life with someone that's willing to commit to that type of relationship.  

One kiss to rule over all of my days with one heart from one person that loves with true love is all that I ask from The Fates.  Catherine Altham is not the villain of  this story but the hero. She reminds what love is, could be and that I can find it with someone special.  I hope her nothing but the best.  No lover of mine should be jealous of you in any shape or form, instead thankful that I know what love can be if I share it with another.

What I'm REALLY Looking For (Honest)

I could write several blog posts of what I'm looking for in a girlfriend.  Honestly it's the same of what I'd be looking for in a wife.  First and foremost I'd like to be in a relationship that's open and honest, change me for the better only because she cares about me and without a doubt in my mind someone that can make a good meatloaf meal.  

Somewhere in the mix of things I know there are ladies that are  sweet and angelic in nature, nasty demons in the bedroom, fun loving and everything else that I may have mentioned in my previous postings. Finding someone with intellectual wit for myself is an ideal persona but take away the honesty, she would just be a 'wanna be' that's wasting my time.  Also I don't want to be with a girl that spends most of her time on a cell phone, it's both a pet peeve and a turn-off.

Having bad habits means we are only human. But I'm also willing to change my ways only if you care enough to say so.  Yet at the same time I don't want to bend over backwards just to please you.  In other words, please don't ask for me to change overnight, accept the fact it takes baby steps with a lot of patience.  Remember that Rome wasn't build in a day and patience is the greatest virtue for anyone can have.  

Last but not least, I love meatloaf plain and simple.  This might not be my kryptonite but it's very close.  Just for the record I will never reveal my kryptonite via blog or even as a secret tweet. But I will know if I have a girlfriend that reads my blog and the one I know is devoted to knowing who I am as a person.  Hence I know this is the one I want to eventually reveal my one mortal weakness.   

Post #75

my mind has been a wondering forrest. forgetting what is important. blurred reasoning. lust for understanding. search for purpose. wait. heal the heart with time. breathe.  return to the path. begin anew.