The Week (So Far)

  

   This week for some odd reason I didn't feel like doing anything.  My highlight was finding out that I am willing to do nearly anything  to make new friends and it feels good.  Honestly without a doubt in my mind, I proved it by going to a part of the city that I do not like for several various reasons. Why did I do it?  I want to be known to others as a 'true friend'.

   My heart is rich with love and I want to share it as if there's no tomorrow. Over the years some of the best advice that I got was treat everyday as if it were my last.  Therefore I've decided to stop holding onto grudges against people.  Without a doubt in my mind, I have grown  to accept this one fate that someday we are all fated to die sooner or later.  Now and then it's just best to live in the moment, carpe diem.

   Eventually I will find time to take a serious look at studying for the next Psychology test.  My only problem is that whenever I study for I see a lot of terminology to memorize.  Reading notes about the brain and neurons is easy to the point I wonder where I can condense the information onto just one sheet.  If I didn't know better I'd think the teacher is trying to teach the student different ways upon 'how' to study for a test.

  Next on the list of things to is watching the new 'Street Fighter' movie on Saturday.  My friend is a fan of the character 'Chun-Li' and I agreed to attend because this is what friends do.  C'est la vie.  As far as I'm concerned my life is an interesting adventure and enjoying every moment of it.  

  

 

  

 

Did I Forget To Mention?

If there's one thing I'm willing to bound my soul to it would be my intellectual equal to stimulate my senses. But looking for one in Winnipeg seems harder than it looks.  Temptation is calling me to New York City.  Just thinking about it feels like a dream that I don't want to wake up from.

Not Specifically But

I've been thinking what other qualities I could look for in a girlfriend.  I like a good variety of personalities.  Somewhere in the mix there's the nerdy type who likes to play video games, read comic books yet very lady like.  A primary example would be G4's host of 'Fresh Ink' Blair Butler. Ever since I started followed her podcast, I think her sense of humor is sexy.

When I converse with someone I'd like to feel a dynamic chemistry flow between us.  Hence I don't like looking for compatibility in a relationship.  The fact a couple has something in common means you like the same things.  Universally this means if there's no chemistry flow in the conversation then it's just two people enjoying their company. Nonetheless at least I know that there's someone who likes something that I like.  

Although I am more of an optimist, I feel a bit skeptical about my chances at finding my ideal mate with these qualities.  The only thing I am certain is the fact I'm not looking someone that has the body of a porn star but the sexual appetite of one.  However if I do find one with these qualities (including the sexual appetite part) I would do anything to prove my worth as a boyfriend.  Give me a reason to switch to 'boyfriend mode' and I'll give you a reason why I'm someone that you would eventually want to marry.    

Vow of One

       

                   I, Andrew Francis Relano hereby vow to satisfy the needs of my mate if she can create a meatloaf meal that will satisfy my stomach.  

Specifically That One

   At my age I've been pondering a bit about the possibility of getting back into the dating game next week with maybe a few specifics.  In terms of compatibility it would be nice to meet someone that likes to read comic books, plays video games or at least something fun like bowling.  If by chance I were to meet someone that was into all three it would be somewhat of an ideal mate.  Yet these are just things I'm into in terms of favorite pastimes.

 Just because someone likes the same thing doesn't mean I'm looking that specific type of person.  The real qualities that I'm looking for that enjoys to have a good time, fun loving and has an outgoing spirit.  She needs to have the heart of a loving angel but a nasty demon in the sack.  I would like to find one with a beautiful soul.

 Honestly I have outgrown the club scene a lifetime ago and ready to look for outside of that toxic environment.  Show me a girl looking for a husband and I'll show you a girl wearing an engagement ring in nine months.  The only thing she needs to know about me is that I am a loyal lover when I'm in a relationship.  One of these days I hope to find that special one in my life.  

If I Won

There's a lot of talk about the amount to be won in the upcoming lottery jackpot.  After hearing of what people would do with $48 million dollars, I thought I'd share my ideas.  First of all, I'm a simple guy with simple pleasures. My attraction to money would be my chance to donate the amount I've always want to give to charity.

First on the list would be 'The Boys And Girls Club of Winnipeg' so that the children would have a chance to enjoy living their life as a child to it's fullest.  I feel I've given so much as a volunteer and yet I want to continue to give more.  My heart sank when I learned I cannot contribute more help any time soon.  Everything that I did was for the love for an organization that reminded what love can be if you were to allow it to be.  

Second on the list would be to help transform a plaza in my mother's hometown into a community centre.  This is actually a dream of mine from a person who reminded and inspired me the importance of being part of a community. As a thank-you I would name the hall in her honor so that she could inspire others for several years to come.  

Last but not least I'd create my own non-profit organization that would encourage inner city children to read graphic novels.  This is a personal pet project of mine that I would love to see a reality.  My only minor 'flaw' would be having it specified to only teenagers due to the subject matter involved in the various graphic novels.  Someday I hope to make this one dream a reality.

Nonetheless I suppose a man can only dream for a better place to live in and have the finer things in life.  My idea of a better place to live is where children have a better lifestyle.  One of the finest things in life is the company of good people.  Just as long as I have a good roof over my head, clothes to wear and a meal to eat everyday what matters the most to me.  For as far I'm concerned I prefer spending time with friends than several amounts of money.    

 

My Life Write Now

Why I Re-joined Twitter And Left Facebook

I felt the same way in this video but still wanted to be part of a certain online social community. The only thing I know is that I like to write whatever is on my mind. Both Blogger and Twitter serves that purpose which includes also getting to meet new people, share ideas and think differently about the world around us. As a writer I'm remembering what it feels like to express myself while sharing random thoughts whenever I feel like it.

When I Twitter it gives me ideas of what to blog about and it makes me happy. Honestly, I want real friends that want to hang out and do stuff. Although the list is a bit short, I enjoy their company and every time we do stuff it reminds me of what true friendship is about. Real friends are who help define us as a person, not people who know people. Stop and think about this idea for a moment: Social networking should be about getting to know people in real life, not as part of an online community.

Harder Than It Looks

After licking my 'wounds' from my post-Valentine woes have me thinking about a few things.  Up till now, I've been blaming The Fates (and still stand by this belief) why I have yet to be in a relationship in the past few years. Answer: It's not me, it's them. 

My guess is most girls either don't have the confidence to ask guys like me to a date and/or too afraid to approach me in conversation. Truth told, I feel the same way but I don't show it.  What I've learned over the years: IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD IF SOMEONE REJECTS YOU.  Recently I've become carefree and aloof with the opposite sex.

How?  I just woke up one morning and became confident without any explanation.  Maybe it's a psychological conditioning.  Who knows why anything happens for whatever reason.

The only thing I know is that if I were asked out for a date it would mean to me this individual proven the right to be considered my equal.  My only promise that I could make is treating her as one. Compatibility only goes so far in a relationship but equality , honesty and respect goes farther making it stronger.

Playlist Advice

After I learned that some people might actually be reading my blog posts via my Twitter profile I thought I'd give some sage advice today.  For those who follow and read my previous posts know that I only have now a certain amount of songs on my Mac.  If there's one thing that I know it's the fact a playlist is like your fingerprint, unique and special in its own way or at least it should be.  For those who are music lovers this advice is for you:

                                              "Let your music reflect your persona."

'Nuff Said

Challenge Of The Fates

For those who have been following this blog knows recently I challenged Fate for making my life miserable.  The last time I did this was when I had enough with whatever happens to me on Friday the 13th. Good news is nothing major bad happened, just the tail end of a bad week. Honestly I couldn't really complain about the day except of the fact I need to enjoy life more often.  

Yes, I know I shouldn't tempt the Fates into giving them some crazy ideas.  I'm also aware that I should be careful of what I wish for but... knowing that I will have  someone making me happy for the rest of my life is only thing that motivates me to do whatever.  No, I might not be a 'Superman' though it will be nice to liked as one.    

My Compensation Wish

Since I found out I won't be attending the wedding reception I've thinking about a few things:

a) Fate cheated me out of a good time

b) there should be some sort of cosmic rule against this

c) something 'good' will come out of this outcome created by Fate

There's a cosmic order of things upon how things work in the universe.  My 'theory' is if enough bad events happen to one person then the same amount of good events have to occur in order to balance it out.  Weddings are a blessed event created by Destiny.  After utilizing this logic, I think I should be compensated by Destiny 'one wish'. 

Somewhere in the grand cosmic order of the universe a 'glitch' was created. In order to create balance, the known universe I deserve a blessed event of equal or greater value.    Crazy as this may sound I feel screwed over for a chance at true love.  It's only fair that I request for once in my life Destiny will send me to the one person that will always love me forever.  Honestly the only thing I really want is to be happy and in love with someone that has a good heart, loves children and enjoys life.   

If Destiny were to grant me this one wish I will accept this Fate that I've created with open arms.  So be it.  Let the Fates be good to me this one time so that I may believe in something once more.    

The Very Short End Of A Stick

Well, the cat's out of the bag.  My mother (God bless her) finally figured out that due to a minor technical note I couldn't attend my cousin's wedding in October. It's not that I didn't want to attend the wedding but funny thing about attending a community college: the work load per class is similar to Mt. Everest.  Hence the minor problem hit me like a ton of bricks.  

Solution?  It involves me attending the ceremony part and flying home back to hitting the books. As a party guy, this is not the compromise that I was looking for. My reward for being responsible comes in the end of June 2011.  I was hoping for a chance to catch the garter once again so I could raise my chances at true love.  

The Meh Long Weekend

Sometimes I just don't want to get out of bed.  This weekend (so far) I felt like putting my emotions onto my blog.  Last week has been such an emotional roller coaster to the point I just wanted to get off. However the problem it's now a passing moment.  Maybe this is sign that good things are going to come my way.

For a whole week my life has been with so many twists and turns I never thought such a nightmare would never end.  No, I don't want to know how the universe works but I just want to stop walking on broken glass.  There's a part of me that still continues looking for hope in this upside-down world that I created for myself.  As I've previously posted a few times, 'hope' is all I have left of which gives me reason to wake up in the morning.  

If 'hope' is the only thing left in your life it means that you don't have anything left to loose.  Few things I've learned this week: 

a) ranting on a blog can be therapeutic

b) growing up emotionally is harder than it looks

c) when all else fails; blame it on a full moon

  Also I've decided that I'd rather be a speedster than teleport in terms of which superpower I'd want.  Since I'm so busy these days I need it seems I'm needed in several different places. Eh?  No matter what my life is always going to be interesting.  

  

Pressure Overload Nearly Kills Sanity

If I could have one wish this week it would be getting the answers that I need.  This week has me walking on a lot of eggshells.  On Monday, I am informed that at the start of every class there will be a test. At first,  just thinking about the pressure to pass 'Psychology' was poured on really thick long before I even started the class.  Honesty and without any sincere doubts I knew the pressure was on but I didn't want to show it.

The good news is that I have a week to mentally prepare, to prove myself and release the tension. Not many people know this but all of this overwhelming stress crashed onto me like a tidal wave and crushing everything in site.  All of my sanity quickly is going south faster than it should.  For goodness sake I see the path to a better life within my reach but it just seems so far away.

Yesterday I thought of trying to release it by having some fun on the workplace.  Sadly, it was a bad idea and upset the co-worker.  The truth is that I didn't want anyone to know that I'm masking the ongoing built up tension from last night.  No one can know that somewhere in the workplace is a powder keg ready to explode.  Letting people know this fact isn't healthy. 

As for today, my parents think that I'm not taking this subject on seriously enough.  However I've decided the logical approach is to get all of tension out of my system then bury my nose into the textbook.  Getting all this pressure to pass this one course feels like a lot of weight on my shoulders.  The problem that they created for me doesn't help me on a mental level but the exact opposite.

For nine years I've been working in a stress filled environment that drives people nuts.  I'm one the few carefree people that has still works there.  As for why I still work there... who knows. Only thing I know is whenever I hit my boiling point I eventually just want to let loose. How I release tension, that's another story for another day.  

The only thing I know is that putting all of my rants online helps me get some perspective on life.  Right now, I thank those who read and understand my woes.

Sure Change

   Looking back at the previous and various subjects that I've posted, I haven't been too sure on a lot of things in my life.  The few things that I'm certain now is the fact I've become more aloof over the last few months yet a larger heart for so many things. Another change is the fact I've many things on my mind to the point I want to post them.  Last but not least is the fact I'm still a catalyst for certain people.

  The only good thing I know in my life are these changes that are happening.  'No' I don't want to know the 'how' and/or 'why' of anything.  If things happen the way they did for a reason, so be it. Accepting my Fate and the direction it turns is one of the most important things I ever did (so far).  

  Being aloof saved my life even though it's not in my nature of doing so.  Strange but true I woke up one morning and became this way.  There wasn't any reason to become cool towards others.  If this attitude leads to something good, I'll consider it a blessing.  

  I like the idea of things coming to my mind and trying to pound it all online.  For me it means I will always have something to blog about.  A while back I didn't have much to post, yet alone think there was anything worth mentioning.  Nowadays writers block is a thing of the past. 

  To be a catalyst isn't a bad thing.  Out of the few things I take pride upon is making change for the better.  Inspiring others used to be a personal pastime of mine.  For being one sets good things into motion. 

  For the record, I'm still one of the good guys on the inside just very much misunderstood.  The real Andrew has this huge heart that wants to share feelings that make people feel good.  My problem is right now is the fact I work with people that don't make this possible.  Upon conclusion I will always be the type of person that likes change whatever it may be.   

100 Songs

  

   One of the hardest things I've done was deleting songs off my hard drive for more disk space.  It seems I didn't have enough space for WoW:WoLK (World of Warcraft: Wrath of The Lich King), the latest expansion pack.  Several good songs were mercilessly lambs to be butchered.  The good news the remains are my favorite songs that would like to put into a mix.

  Bad news?  There is less than seven hours of music.  Honestly, I've been thinking about getting an iPod Shuffle for a while now. My current iPod is much too bulky and such an inconvenience as I commute from 'Point A' to 'Point B'.  

Question: Was the expansion worth the sacrifice? Answer: Hell, yes!

Note to self: Buy more memory...  Somehow everything fell into place and I cannot complain.  :D  

 

Love Thy Fate

    

     Have you ever had a strange dream?  Sometimes I wonder why I have them in the first place.  Recently I've had celestial beings warning me about a possible forthcoming relationship that might exist. Apparently I created certain 'ripple effects' which may or may not lead to an unwanted romance.  

    Every action has a cause and effect, this is fact.  If there's one thing I learned from over the years there's a purpose to every action, nothing is a random factor.  But how does one relationship involving romance be a fate worse than death? Somewhere in my world that I was led to believe most lovers are destined to be, not by Fate.  

  Yes, both Destiny and fate are one and the same yet the definitions are different.  One is portrayed more favorable than the other.  Either way these are factors that are expected. Supposedly one's love is not meant to be, it just happens for this one certain goal. 

  Nonetheless I grown to accept whatever happens serves its role. Why? For as long as I want to remember trying to be master of your destiny just does not seem to be an applicable objective. At this point in my life when you're down, the only direction you can go is up.      

The Friday I Want To Avoid

   

   For the record I haven't been a superstitious person in a long time.  However for some odd reason over the years,  a list of mere coincidences have made me reluctant to make human contact with anyone on Friday the 13th.  Although it's an inevitable of doing so, Fate always has found a way to make it my worse day ever to the point I just want to sleep in.  Upon the last umpteenth years of my life and for as long as I want to remember I don't know how or why but somehow one way or another bad things have happened to me.

  In the name of all things good, IF there was a just and loving 'God' maybe this year will be different.  Maybe for once all of the planetary alignments just might be in my favor and it will be my luckiest day ever.  So far, nothing in my life has gone right. If it does, the chance of anything going my way doesn't last long. 

  Was I meant to be unlucky for the rest of my existence? There are just some things I want to know.  Sure -- (maybe)  there's a list of things that were my fault and why I'm this way.  But everything else I know were a chain of events which lead towards my one bad day for the month.  

  The good Lord knows I could go on and on why my life sucks. Yet after some much needed reflecting on my part I will always wonder about 'the why factor'.  Thinking about the bad events that occurred isn't healthy.  Sadly, I can't even put a positive spin on this except for the fact I'm always looking for hope. 

  Maybe if I had a soul to sell, I'd exchange it for next Friday to be the day where I start a blossoming romance which will lead to a meaningful relationship and a blissful marriage with loving children.  Right now, the Fates are reading this and laughing at me.  Perhaps the Devil is grinning from ear to ear wanting to seize this opportunity while knowing that I'll be screwed over in the end -- I can read the small print on her contracts... As for 'God'  he warns me to be careful of what I wish for.  

  One of these days I've got to stop flipping off the Fates and maybe something good will come my way.  Then again,  I'd like to have a reason not to give Fate the finger.  Yes, Karma has a sense of humor ( a sick and twisted one) but at least one day I will laugh about it after I'm dead. Nonetheless I suppose I can only look towards hope for the best day ever whenever that day may be.